eDITORcHRIS

1- Why aren’t you speaking to me? Honestly, I’ve been sooo busy and you have no idea the stress I’ve felt, which is strange since I tell you just about everything but even in all I’ve been dealing with, I still am thinking about you. You’re dead wrong 4 not showing me the same consideration that you know I give you. 3 years for what? 3 years my butt.

2- You’re starting school, real and public (but good) school for the first time and it scared me but I’m so proud and excited for you.

3- I love you and you know it but you have no idea how much you’ve taught me about love…. ever since the summer of ‘04 when I cared for you, just an infant at the time and now, with your sweet words and kind-hearted gestures. Just today, when you gave me one of your handi-snacks, it filled me with sunshine so I was glad to repay the favor and help you get a Happy Meal lol

4- You’re good at many things but need to keep your nose out of mess and your hands at work. It pays off.

5- You don’t want to die and you don’t hate everybody. I told you that if you did, this stuff wouldn’t bother you and you wouldn’t behave like that so stop saying that stuff!! You care and that’s why these things bother you. Keep caring; care enough to make the changes and be the changes you so desire. Live peaceably by starting within, being humble before the Lord, as I am learning is the foundational step to success…and do it all in love.

6- I’m glad you seem happy but you make me want to cry and it’s because I’ve been there but when I was in your shoes, I had the desire to learn about God and be saved by Christ…you seem to leave it in church and in the Bible and in the back of your head somewhere but this life will only be harder the more you are distant from the Creator.

7- Your honesty will bring you through. I see miracles in your name. You made me an aunt when I was but 5 years old and are destined to do only great things. Let no one hold you from it, not me and not you..let the Lord see you to what He has for you to do :-)

8- You must express. You must stay in touch with your inspiration and express yourself and not get caught up in the silly lies and gossiping that so often happens because that only destroys people from the inside. Don’t let the words of your mouth defile you or the thoughts in your heart. Release the pain through faith and forgiving and hold no room for bitterness.

9- Have you any idea how much of an effect you’ve had on your whole family? With much authority comes much responsibility! Everyone is looking to you and walking in circles. You’re a human being, man just like the rest of mankind. Your priorities are clearly not correct. We do need to meet people where they are but you’re letting your “ministry” drag yourself and your family through the mud and all the while, thinking you’re doing what is right. If Jesus had a wife and kids when He walked this earth, I believe that they’d be just as taken care of as any one else He ministered unto. Isn’t that who you’re claiming to follow?? Forget that you provide a house if you’re anywhere but there and forget a refrigerator if there is no food. To share the Living Bread with strangers the right way, remember that charity begins at home, okay?

10- You’ve done so much for me. You’ve revealed the heart of a woman and a mother. So much that you didn’t need to do and even things you probably should not have done, you still did your best at to try to fulfill your role like you know how. I have this inkling, still, that it can’t ever be enough for me to not feel neglected by you. For over 21 years, I have known and loved you but you always put me on a lower scale than your profession and basically never do say you love me and yet, expect so much of me somehow. When I hear that I’m “just spoiled,” it bothers me every time but I don’t just deny it; I take it into deep consideration like a mature woman should and what I always realize is that I am not at all spoiled—just human..so yes I’ve been wrong about many things but mostly, I really have no idea about this one thing— why exactly do you treat me with such disdain? I have to assume it’s that I remind you of a younger you. Is that correct?